Kong Kids Phenomenon

 

What is “Kong kids”

“3 Low 1 High” – Is it referring to low sugar, low salt, low fat and high fiber? If you can only relate this to healthy eating, you may be out-of-date as this is the new term to describe the characteristics of a group of Hong Kong children so-called “Kong Kids”. “Kong kids” refers to those spoiled children who have low self-care ability, low adversity quotient and low emotional quotient (Kwok, 2010). They are usually the products of middle income families with domestic helpers.

Causes of “Kong kids”

There are three main causes of “Kong kids” phenomenon: one kid family, academic-oriented nurturance and working parents. According to Census and Statistics Department (2013), the birth rate remained at low level which implied that most of the Hong Kong people had low incentive of having a baby. Therefore, one child family is not uncommon in Hong Kong. With one child, parents and grandparents would spoil the toddler by giving as much as they can. Children just live like a parasite. If they want eat, they open their mouths or shout out to the domestic helpers. Besides, many Hong Kong parents are more focused on the academic achievement of the children because good result always equal to bright prospect. They don’t expect their kids to do anything unrelated to study, not to mention housework (Fung, 2013). Nevertheless, a majority of parents are working parents in Hong Kong which “had the fifth longest average weekly working hours in the world” (Ho, 2011, para.6). As a result, domestic helpers are employed to help with housework as well as take care of the children.

Excess care would increase the dependency of children and discourage their growth. Clinical psychologist Daisy Chow (2011) indicated that the number of case in relation to “Kong kids” behaviors increased by 10 percent in past two years. Nearly 80 percent of parents interviewed also said their children were unable to get dressed themselves (Parry, 2013). The problem was getting serious. However, children are our future. They should be able to take care themselves and shoulder the responsibilities toward the society but not act like a “Kong kid”. Implementation of self-care and life skills education, parent role modeling and less intervention maybe the possible ways to rescue the “Kong kids”.

 

Implementation of self-care and life skills education

First of all, implementing self-care and life skills lesson at school may be one of the possible solutions. Many parents argued that they have no time to accompany their children because of long working hours, not to mention bringing up their self-care and life skills. Therefore, school, the second home of the children, may be an alternative to develop their self-care abilities. Ying Wah Primary school had already participated in it. Principal Lam (2011) said the self-care abilities of children deteriorated in the last few years and that was the reason why she included self-care and life skills in the scope of general studies lesson. During the lesson, students are taught how to tie their shoelace, plait the clothes and sweep the floor etc. Several awards, such as housework master, were also set up to motivate kids to do housekeeping. The result was somehow satisfactory because children always become more confident and willing to do things well once they get other’s approval (KidMatter Early Childhood Team, 2012).

Having said so, many people criticized the effectiveness and flexibility of increasing self-care and life skills education at school. Under the exam-oriented education system, students usually have to prepare for the examinations no matter they are in primary or secondary school. Self-care and life skills education would share the time of learning academic content and properly weaken their competitiveness. Moreover, majority of Hong Kong parents seldom allow their children to do things around home. Children thus got no chance to practice at home even though they have learned some self-care skills.

 

Parent role modeling

“Example is better than precept”, a classic saying about parenting, showed the importance of role modeling in child education as copying is a way of learning for kids. Role model can be any “subjects of admiration and emulation. Through their personal qualities and achievements, they can inspire others to strive and develop without direct instruction (Bloom, 2011). Everyone can be child’s role model. However, parents ranked as the top of influential role model in babe’s life. Susan Revermann (2010) concluded few advantages that parents are more powerful than the other role models: (1) Trust; (2) Quantity of Time; (3) You’re Real.

For trust, mum and dad were the first two people that child met when they came to the world. They supposed to be two familiar people who can be treated as credible illustration for children. For quantity of time, children generally spent most of the time with their parents than the others. Also, the more the time you accompanied with your children, the higher the influence you made on them. Finally, unlike cartoon characters and pop stars, parents are real and communicative that interaction is not impossible.  

Although “Seeing is believing, when kids see, they become.” (Stephens, 2004), parent role modeling may not be efficient at all as most of the Hong Kong parents are working parents who can only spend time with their children during holiday. Also, many parents are somehow “Kong kids”. They always demand their domestic helpers from preparing night snacks for them to giving a cup of water when needed. Children are highly influenced by bad modeling as it takes three years to build a good character but three days to corrupt. Even though parents are pleased to change their habits, it may take more than a year.

 

Less intervention

Less intervention allows your kid to have ‘real’ growth. I understood that children are forever children who are lack of abilities and should be well protected in parents’ eyes. Psychologist Marila Fernandes expressed that it is favorable of being protective but cannot overboard. With regard to safety, worrying the kids is natural for parents (as cited in Zuzarte, 2013). I always ask my uncle and aunt. Why don’t you think my 4-year-old cousin have no concept of cold and hot, hungry and full? “No, he should know but we just worry.” They replied. I had no surprise as a lot of “helicopter parents”, a group of parents who are normally the producers of “Kong Kids” and “engage in the practice of over-parenting” (O’Donnell, 2011), were too sensitive and underestimated the abilities of their children. According to the specialist from Heep Hong Society (2011), 3 to 4-year-old children should be able to dress up and eat without assistance while 5 to 6-year-old can tie the shoelace and take a bath (as cited in The Hongkong Federation of Youth Groups, 2013, p.63). Parents are not suggested to provide everything before the kids can ask for it.

Beyond being sensitive, many “helicopter parents” also believed that children are incompetence to face challenges as well as dealing with setbacks. In this competitive world, it is inevitable to have discouragement and depression. Parents should notify that they will not always be there to handle every little thing for their children. Therefore, they are suggested to provide guidance instead of helping kids to solve the problems so as to enhance child’s development on independency and resilience, which is an inherent ability that will be stirred only under adversity (as cited in The Hongkong Federation of Youth Groups, 2013, p.89). Also, too much intervention is an act of distrust which properly harms the parent-child relationship. Children would thus not eager to speak up their thought.

In short, coping with difficulties is a part of growth. Children will never have ‘real’ growth if you put him/her in the greenhouse. Parents should be tolerable but not coldhearted, for example, they should aid the kids immediately for sure when he/she falls down with serious wound while only encouragement is expected if he/she has no or minor cut.

Conclusion

Because of several external and internal factors including one kid family, working parents and academic-oriented nurturance, many Hong Kong children became “Kong kids”. Implementation of self-care and life skills education, parent role modeling and less intervention are the sound strategies while less intervention is the most effective way to rescue the “Kong kids” as it leaves the space for enhancing child’s abilities in particular of those “3 lows”.

“Kong kid” was no longer a personal issue. It affects the children’s growth and properly forms a cycle as those “princesses” and “princes” may become the bad model affecting the behaviors of future generation as well as the sustainability and competitiveness of Hong Kong. In order to protect our beloved home, please be responsible and think twice before showing your “love and care” to the kids.

 

Appendix

1.   Bloom, S. (2011, May 6). Importance of Parents As Role Models. Retrieved from http://www.livestrong.com/article/110276-importance-parents-role-models/
2. Census and Statistics Department. (2013). Hong Kong Fact Sheets – Population. Retrieved from http://www.gov.hk/en/about/abouthk/factsheets/docs/population.pdf

 3.      Chow, D. & Lam, Y.S. (Guest). (2011, May 4). Kong Kids and Monster Parents. TVB. Podcast retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ElgdQV2rbs

4.      Fung, L.C. (2013, April 23). Hong Kong kids more narcissistic than Western kids according to CityU study. Retrieved from http://wikisites.cityu.edu.hk/sites/newscentre/en/Pages/201304231600.aspx

5.      Ho, C.P. (2011, July 13). Balancing work and family in Hong Kong no easy task. China Daily. Retrieved from http://www.cdeclips.com/en/hongkong/fullstory.html?id=68172

6.      Kidmatter Early Childhood Team. (2012, May). Encouraging and praising children. Retrieved from http://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/sites/default/files/public/KMEC-C2_201205_03_curiosity-encourage-praise.pdf

 7.      Kwok, F. (2010, December 27). Hong Kong Kids. Ming Bao Daily. Retrieved from http://life.mingpao.com/cfm/learn3a.cfm?File=20110111/lncritica/critica1.txt

 8.      O’Donnell, J. (2011). What are Helicopter Parents?. Retrieved from

http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/physicalemotionalgrowth/g/helicopterparents.htm

9.      Parry, H. (2013, May 7). Hong Kong kids need to learn self-care skills. SCMP. Retrieved from http://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/family-education/article/1231489/hong-kong-kids-need-learn-self-care-skills

10.  Revermann, S. (2010, June 12). Why are Parents Role Models for Children?. GlobalPost. Retrieved from

http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/parents-role-models-children-5128.html

11.  Stephens, K. (2004, May). Parenting Exchange: Parents Are Powerful Role Models for Children. 19, 1-2. Retrieved from http://www.oh-pin.org/articles/pex-01-parents-are-powerful-role.pdf

12.  The Hongkong Federation of Youth Groups. (2013). New parenting guidance. Hong Kong, HK: The Hongkong Federation of Youth Groups.

13. Zuzarte, J. (2013, June 14). Overprotective parents inhibit growth process. The Times of India. Retrieved from http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-06-14/goa/39975937_1_protecting-children-parents-good-thing

Why I so care about my academic result?

“Learning: it is not for scoring.” That’s the advertisement slogan from the Hong Kong government convincing parents to evaluate their children other than score. However, the advertisement is not effective at all. Many people including me think that score and learning process are equally important especially in Hong Kong. Even though I am a university student, I am still laying great stress on my academic result because of the opportunities inside and outside campus under cruel competition and verification of my abilities.

 

First, I can get more opportunities at school if I have satisfactory result. Most of the activities are on selected basis and spaces are limited such as exchange, internship and study tour. Grade Point Average, so-called GPA which is the scoring system for most of the universities in Hong Kong, is a common criteria in order to shortlist the candidates. Sometime, it is quite competitive so I not only need an adequate GPA, but also above average in order to secure a place. Let’s take student ambassador as an example. I had been a student ambassador for City University of Hong Kong (CityU) in last academic year. During application period, I had been screened based on my GPA in order to go through the next step – interview. Although interview skills may be one of the factors, good GPA was the main reason I got this chance because the instructor said this in the briefing session. “It is an intensive training and service program so we have to make sure every successful participant is able to handle schoolwork as well as the training provided. GPA may be one of the references.”

 

Second, I believe that having superior result is an evitable element for recruitment after graduation. In Hong Kong, there are nearly twenty-thousand fresh graduates per year. However, the number of job vacancies decreases because of economic recession in these years. Together with those from overseas, the competition is very keen. Based on the past statistic, about ten percent of fresh graduates were thrown into unemployment in 2012. In order to not be one of them, good result is a must as it is a common practice for the employers to select their ideal applicants based on GPA. Skills and techniques are also important but GPA is the first step to go. Undoubtedly, it is safer for those with higher GPA to enter the next recruitment processes such as written test and interview. Besides, there is a group of employers who are the followers of “Top 3” universities (PolyU, CU and HKU) in Hong Kong. I experienced this in my internship in one of the Big 4 accounting firms while only minorities of my colleagues are from non-top 3 universities. Thus, I treat the recruitment as “valuable” opportunity in which I can further explain the advantages of CityU students if I have good GPA to pass first few recruitment processes.   

 

Last but not least, this reason is relatively personal. I fight for the good result because I hope my family especially my mum can proud of having me as her daughter. I was growing up in a single-parent family so that my mum has to act as the breadwinner. She has no time to give us any guidance, and therefore little expectation on me and my brother in particular me because girl is not as capable as boy from her deep heart. It is difficult to change her mind. However, graduation with higher honor is a good demonstration showing my abilities to my family. Girl is not weaker. Even though I am not a clever girl and has to work even harder in pursuit of being the average student, they should have little worries. I am able to support my living together with my family.

 

To conclude, I learn because of acquiring knowledge in addition to scoring. Although only three/four years left before entering the society, university students should not ignore the importance of getting good academic result in terms of seizing opportunities at school, getting a graduate job under keen competition and showing our abilities to the family. 

Descriptive writing: My beloved grandmother

People normally have a honeyed relationship with their mum and dad. However, I am the exception. If my grandma is a kangaroo, I should be the little one inside her bag. We have such chummy relationship because I live with her since I was a newborn baby.

 

My grandma has short, curly and dense hair with black pearl color even though she is nearly 80. She loves laugh especially on jokes I made. When she is laughing, her eyes look like a pair of rainbow. Because of her optimistic personality, my home is harmonious and full of laughter all the time. I was affected a lot by my cheerful grandma. At my young age, she taught me that it is good to be brave, follow your heart and never give up no matter there is any difficulty discouraging you. For example, when I feel disappointed with the poor examination result, she would give me a hug with a sweet smell of rose came from her favorite hand cream, however, said with fish like smell (as she loves eat fish so much):

 

“Girl, keep going.

Have faith and work harder next time.

I am here to support you always.”

 

She just like a farmer who keeps nurturing the positive power on me as time goes by. Grandma is thin, short and always wears ancient clothes. Her outfit may make her look weak but she is actually a capable woman who built a shell protecting me from those “monsters”. I should have no worry as someone always stays behind me during my hard time.

 

My grandma is a hardworking person and also the expert of making noise. When I was fighting with my assignment, she made some “background music” that kept drawing my attention. Except non-stop talking with her microphone voice, there was “ti ti dik dik” noise which came from my grandma’s slippers because she was walking like a busy puppy along the corridor for doing housework.

 

“Hey. Could you please stop for a while? I am working on my assignment. ”

“Of course not! I need to finish all the housework planned today.

This is my responsibility to finish them as scheduled.”

 

That is quite annoying actually. However, I do admit her strong self-discipline and insistence. Nobody except yourself would keep remind you all the time. What you should do is to control yourself. Things are easier to be said than to be done. I am a lucky girl because I have grandma to be my role model showing me the things not mentioned in the textbook but I should bear in mind.

 

“Work hard may worth nothing but you will certainly not succeed if you don’t ever work hard”. That is my grandma’s motto. From her pair of rough and dry hand as well as the humpback, I could feel how hard she is in her life especially the efforts on my growth. Beyond giving birth, she gave everything she can from three simple but tasty meals, pocket money and tiny home to me. That’s why I can focus on my study with little worries. I love her even though she is stubborn, troublesome and rude occasionally like my customers in boutique.

 

“Grandma, I am no longer a baby doll.

I know it is hard to not worrying me but please try to worry less.

It is time for me to grow up and settle into the real world.

Thanks for your love and care.”

Reflective Essay: Why I write

A majority of people may not love writing especially for the students because composition must be one of the compulsory assignments in their school life. They are required to write with a given topic. Yes! I hate writing under the above condition. However, I do enjoy writing in my diary, blog and Facebook during my leisure time.

 

First of all, I am the one who love sharing. I believe that it is better to share one’s happiness rather than to enjoy alone. I feel even happier after sharing what I saw as well as my own feelings. Also, online platform allows us to share without boundaries and enables others to leave comments. Through my sharing, I can always have a little conversation with my friends especially those no longer in my current social circle or living aboard. Chatting with them not only warms me up, but also makes me learn a lot through listening to different point of view.

 

Besides, writing allows us to keep a record of growth and could be a kind of self-reflection too. Let’s take travel journal as an example. On one hand, writing travel journal can record your wonderful moments in your vacation. On the other hand, before writing, you need to recall your memory about what you have done during that period. Sometime, you would conclude something you did or thought wrong previously. This kind of writing can consolidate your experience as well as serve as a reminder to alert you not to make the same mistake again.

 

Last but not least, writing is a medium of releasing your emotion. I would say diary is “my best listener” all the time. Sometime, it is hard to keep saying those upsetting things to your friends. In order to avoid bothering my friends, I would choose to write down my complicated feelings and my little secret in the diary.

 

To conclude, my pieces of writing are the evidences to demonstrate my changes. It highlights the precious moments in my daily life and helps me settling down the bad emotion.

 

Writing is a part of my life.

My first post

Hello. Welcome all to my blog!
This is Kiki.
I am going to share my writing and experience here.